Well, well, well. It seems I have stumbled upon another money ploy, this one targeted quite blatantly at kids. Except that kids have no money to be spending on such products, so parents: be on the look out.
Ladies and gentlemen…behold! I bestow upon you….
SILLY BANDZ!!!!!!
I especially like that obviously photoshopped filtered picture in the second row. I can tell the photographer was going for the more gritty look.
So, I have to be honest with you guys. I have absolutely no idea what these things are used for. When I first saw the website, I figured they were maybe some kind of hair band thingies. Apparently not, even though one could probably get the most use out of using it for pony tail purposes.
Basically, these things are rubber bands. Well, not even basically. These things ARE rubber bands.
….But these not just any rubber bands, people!!! These rubber bands come in all shapes and colors! Like….orange toucans! And black baseball plates! And…this thing!!!:
I personally think it is a tap dancing dinosaur. But then quickly released how silly of a thought that was. Obviously Dinosaurs are much bigger than that.
You guys know how I am though. I am miss “give everything a chance” and never one to chose sides when it comes to a debate. So I took it upon myself, after doing extensive research on the matter, to write out some ridiculously awesome things you can do with Silly Bandz. Here goes:
Things to do with Silly Bandz:
- Use them as stylin’ hair ties.
- Link them together to make a long chain…thing. People still find that fun, right?
- Cock ring?
- When you are driving, blast some music, and make them dance out your window a little bit. People will think you are the bees knees.
- Pretend they are pets you could never have in real life. I’ve always wanted a pet hippo made completely out of rubber.
- Glue them to your friends bathroom floor. Then have a great laugh at them when they can’t pick them up!!!! What chumps!!!!!!
….Actually, none of these things are really good. I tried really hard you guys, I tried to find really good uses for these things, but there aren’t any!! These things are stupid, pointless, and a waste of bandwidth on the internet. Why would you ever want to buy rubber bands in the shapes of animals or people or letters or ANYTHING OTHER THAN A CIRCLE.
And what the heck is this thing supposed to be?!?! It looks like Barney the Dinosaur, only without legs and two nubs for arms.
I found this picture under the “sea creatures” category, and seriously…if there is a sea creature that looks like THIS in the ocean, then count me out from ever going swimming ever again. Look people, I’m already pretty daunted by shrimp (bugs of the sea), I don’t need Silly Bandz to nourish my aversions to strange sea critters.
I mean, come on. If you’re going to make rubber bands into specific shapes, at least make them look like the shape you want them to be. At least put this guy in the “Barney the Dinosaur” category. Might as well have one, they have a category for pretty much everything else.
Conclusion?
Silly Bandz, you disappoint me. Until you start making rubber bands in the shape of Daryl Hall, I will continue to be uninspired by your efforts to woo me with Barney the Dinosaur Sea Critters and umbrellas and…ugh…butterflies.
