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Make A Circuit With Me

Tuesday, September 7th, 2010

You may or may not have noticed that I have a pretty strong weakness [Oooo, oxymoron] for Science Fiction and Fantasy. I grew up on whimsical games like King’s Quest, where you can find your character stuck inside an interactive fairy tales, and Space Quest where you can interact with Alien creatures with 5 noses and pilot droids. My dream house is Crispin’s cottage from King’s Quest 5. There is something so fantastical, so appealing about things we assume not to be possible or real. I’m not trying to say that robots and androids are not real, because we’ve been making amazing technological advances when it comes to robotics! Japan is working on making a robot that looks and responds like a human being (we’re so close to a robot invasion..)

The robots I like are a bit more fictitious, but I love them all the same. I’ve always loved robots and ‘droids, so here’s a list of my personal favorites.

TOP TEN LISTS, ALL THE TIME TOP TEN LISTS.

HONORABLE MENTION Burton (The Spoony Experiment)

Burton is the robot from Internet Famous Reviewer and personality, Noah Antwiler. He is clearly an homage to the robots from Mystery Science Theater 3000, and it definitely does justice. Burton is amazing for a home made robot, able to move his head and open his mouth. Not only functional, but Burton is one of the more aesthetically pleasing machines. Nice blue color, attractive dust buster for a head, and red hands. RED.

10. Bender (Futurama)

Typically, I don’t like beer guzzling, foul mouthed, chauvinistic pigs. But when these kind of personalities are fused with a robot, the combination is pure win. Snarky, obscene, and strikes an uncanny resemblance to Homer Simpson. Bender is one of the most distinguishable characters within the adult cartoon circuit. Regardless of how filthy and cunning he is, I do like this character. There’s something awesome about a completely brash robot, since most of the robots on my list have a friendly nature.

9. The Iron Giant

I don’t know much about the novel, but I love the depiction in the Iron Giant animated feature film. Talk about a 180, going from the crude personality of Bender to the gentle personality of this character. I can’t imagine a better “pet” than a huge metal man. I am very jealous of Hogarth. The movie itself has a very touching ending, that I won’t give away of course, but I will say The Iron Giant is one of the best robotic heros ever conceived.

8. Rosie (The Jetsons)

If you grew up on the cartoon network like I did in the early 90s, then you must be familiar with Rosie. We share a nickname! The Jetsons was one of my absolute favorite cartoons growing up. I felt they were always in battle with The Flintstones, even though they probably were not due to the times they were created, but regardless, I was on The Jetsons side. Rosie was a staple in my childhood, and the Jetsons was one of the first shows I experienced with a prominent robot character, so I look at her fondly.

7. ROB (Nintendo)

You may be asking me “Why??” BECAUSE HE IS CUTE. LOOK AT HIM.

6. The Terminator

The Terminator is interesting due to the fact he played a bad guy, but also a good guy. Not too mention, it’s fuckin’ AHNOLD. How can you not like the Govenator? Judgement Day was one of the movies that changed my tastes on films, and I went from watching really kiddy stuff to more dramatic, impressive films like the Terminator series. We don’t *typically* think about robots as huge muscular men with Austrian accents, so this is a bit different from your fantasy robot. I like it.

5. R2D2 (Star Wars)

Most possibly one of the cutest robots of all time, R2D2 proves himself to be a smartass without even using English words. As a child, I *loved* watching R2D2 argue (and win) with his mechanical partner, C3P0. He looks sort of like a cross between a trash can, and segway. And hey, there ain’t nothin’ wrong with that.

4. Number 5 (Short Circuit)

Short Circuit. What can I say? It’s a fun, cheesy flick with Steve Gutenberg about a potentially dangerous robot gone good. He can be annoying to some, but I think his voice is rather cute, and with all that input, he may just be the smartest robot out there. Self learning, charming, and clearly a capable dancer, I would date this machine.

3. Robo (Chrono Trigger)

Playing through Chrono Trigger is one of the most amazing game experiences I’ve ever had, and I always made sure that Robo was in my team as much as possible. His story is compelling, and I enjoyed his side quests more than the other side quests. I know I am not alone in wanting Lucca and Robo to hook up…right? …..Right??

2. WD40 (Space Quest)

Maybe an more obscure choice, but Space Quest 5 is one of my favorite games of all time. Wd40 is the female equivalent of The Terminator. She starts out as evil and wanting to rip out your voice box, but joins your side after…well, blowing her up. Easy to persuade…? WD40 is also hot, IN robot form. Pretty hard to make circuits and panels of metal sexy.

1. Andy (Bicentennial Man)

I know I will get slammed for this, but my number one choice for my top ten robots is Andy, from the movie Bicentennial Man. This movie is so sincere, and really brings to life my true fantasy- a robot that has human emotions. Andy starts out a robot who realizes he is different, in that he has feelings. In order to experience life to the fullest, he undergoes an amazing transformation in which he becomes a human through means of artificial organs, and skin. It really hits a chord with me, even in its cheesiness, and I find myself yearning for a coin-operated boy of my own. The movie and character does a really nice job of merging fantasy with reality, and let’s face it: We all need a little fantasy in our reality. If you haven’t seen it, I recommend it.

And there we have it! My list of the top robots of all time. Everything is my own personal opinion of course, and so as not to get slammed by the hardcore Transformers fans, I would like to give a nod to Optimus Prime. Even though I don’t see any robots in transformers. Just trucks. …..>;)

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Booyah! A blog post.

Thursday, August 5th, 2010

BOOSH! A wild PushingUpRoses appears!

While I was tinkering with my website appearance, I noticed that I haven’t updated it in nearly a month. A month! Where have I been? What’s going on? What time is it? Why is there a huge scar where my kidneys are located? Is “oozily” a real word? All these questions answered and more, in this new blog post.

Basically, I’ve been busy. I know I know, anti-climatic. But first, I will share a story with you.

I was in the computer lab at school the other day, minding my own business, when I hear something from the other room. It sounded like the most lackluster, depressive, downright disappointing “Booyah!” I have ever heard. Have you ever tried using the term “Booyah” in the wrong context? It sounds hilarious. “Oh man, my car got broken into today on Canal st. BOOOOOYAAAAAAH!”

So I very very very slowly poke my head around the wall to the next room, only to see a 60ish year old woman sitting at the computer, doing god knows what on the internet. This woman screwed up the word “Booyah!” How can you do that!?!?

Incorrect ways of using “Booyah”:

“I had a bad day. Oh, booyah.”
“I left my lunch in the booyah.”
“YOU SUCK. BOOYAH.”
Hey baby, want to booyah?

Correct ways of using “Booyah”:

“Your MOM goes to college! BOOYAH.” (in response to “I go to college, etc”)
BOOYAH, GRANDMA! BOOYAH.” (in response to completely owning your grandma at the 27th game of scrabble)
I’m awesome! Booyah!” (because you might just be awesome)
Praise the Lord, booyah!” (in placement of hallelujah. This may or may not be acceptable.)

Just so we’re clear.

Besides doing the whole school thing, I’ve been busy recording my Let’s Plays, and letting my inner geek out. Or maybe it’s outer geek. I think my geek shows pretty well. If you say geek too many times, it sounds weird. Try it. Geekgeekgeekgeekgeekgeekgeek. NOW IT’S LOST IT’S MEANING.

I have a lot of new projects in the works, but if any of you are interested in some snazzy collaborations I did recently, you can go to my buddy LordKat’s website, and view a lovely LP on spacequest. You can also hear me say “Eat them out” in one instance. Erg.

I also did an article collaboration here, with the most lovely JewWario.

Oh, and if you haven’t seen this already, this is the best fan art of me I have ever seen in my life:

Is it wrong that I want to boink myself in cartoon form? This was made by the wonderful Andrew Dickman. Thanks for giving me a nice rack! MAN I’m stacked.

Well…that’s all I have to say for now I suppose. I guess it’s back to the grind. …..Booyah.

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My Secret Life as a Sleuth

Friday, July 9th, 2010

I have a secret.

Well, it’s not actually a secret. It’s more of a fantasy. Ever since I was a little girl…I’ve always wanted to be…

(insert really really long awkward pause, and a cymbal crash)

A detective.

….What!?!? Don’t you ridicule, now! Everyone has fantasies about being someone else, after all. Some people want to be famous athletes, some people want to be actors and actresses, some people want to be a transvestite…it’s all good! *I* have always wanted to be a detective.

I can’t really offer a great explanation as to why, except I think being obsessed with Law and Order as a tyke had some effect on me. I used do, and still do actually, adore that show. Even though the original seemed to spawn a million carbon copies of itself, like “Criminal Intent” and “Special Victims Unit”, I will always be a fan girl of the original series.

I even started writing my own mystery short stories as a preteen: The Adventures of Mrs. Maple. Which is clearly in no way, shape or form, a complete rip-off of Miss Marple by famed mystery writer, Agatha Christie. Obviously.

How I fantasized about being a great detective, always going on adventures with my sidekick (gotta have a sidekick) and my neat detective hat and fashionable trench coat. I would be the most famous detective, traveling around the world, working for Scotland Yard, and eating bagels. Cops eat donuts. Detectives eat bagels. I would even have my very own detective lamp!:

I am very certain Eddie, the main character in “Who Framed Roger Rabbit”, had this exact lamp on his desk. I will always equate lamps of this style to crime fighting. Thus, I must have one. I am currently accepting lamp donations. Please see my contact page.

Alas, my career in crime was not going anywhere, so I needed to find other ways of stimulating my affection for mystery. I was about to abandon hope, until I found this:

Eagle Eye Mysteries for the PC!!!

There seemed to be a certain time when mystery games for the PC became really popular. Eagle Eye Mysteries, published by EA Kids, was an educational game that allowed the player to be an amateur detective, solving simple (and possibly harmless) crimes. The simulation was amazing to me, being only nine or ten at the time I played. The game kept me occupied for years and really fulfilled my lust for mystery games. As I got older though, these child games no longer suited me.

When I hit my awkward teenage years, I found other, more mature games to satisfy my hunger. I started playing Laura Bow 2: The Dagger of Amon Ra.

Now, hear me when I tell you how deceptive this game actually is. The graphics are very cartoony, friendly, and fun. During the first part of the game, I was having a ball picking up clues, talking to people, and progressing in the game. And then…

BAM.

YOU FIND A FUCKING CORPSE IN A MUMMY’S COFFIN IN THE NEXT ACT.

I was so freaked out, especially after playing through the very very sugary sweet first act. Maybe I was not ready to be a super sleuth after all. Not only could I not eat anything red for months after this game, but my love for mystery in general dwindled for MONTHS!

I did end up going back to the game a couple years later, and got through it. Barely. This game pretty much proved to me that I would make the least successful detective on the planet. At the end of the game, there is this test you have to take to see how well you payed attention. Not only did I get every question wrong, but my character got murdered at the end because I let the killer get away! RATS.

Okay, so I admit it. I’m the worst detective ever. But it doesn’t detract my love for a great mystery, and sometimes I still fantasize about being a gumshoe. Even if it means I have to go play some Carmen Sandiego to feed my need for crime solving. At twenty five years old, I wonder if it is too late to hone my sleuthing skills. I am pretty sure if I just had that detective lamp, I would be the best there is.

Or I would get killed for letting a vicious serial killer away.

Maybe some day.

Posted in Gamer Girl Gone Wild, Lets Get Personal, Speak Geek | View Comments

Lyrical Inadequacies [Part 1]

Thursday, May 13th, 2010

Let’s waste no time here: ever wonder what happened to decent lyrics? I am a huge, huge music nerd, and a crucial element for me in any music, is lyrical content. Censored, uncensored, whatever – as long as it strikes a chord with me. These days nothing seems to strike a chord, and I strain to find lyrics that are halfway decent, let alone make any sense. Artists can get away with spewing just about anything these days as long as it has a rockin’ beat and gives people something to agitate to. And my god, they do. Lyrics have become so absurd these days, that I was inspired to waste more of my precious time in dedicating a random list of the most moronic lyrics ever spouted by man.

Click to continue »

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The Rack Trap or Another article about boobs? Really?

Thursday, February 25th, 2010

So, you may remember a couple posts ago in an article far far away, me talking about presents for your geek girl. It wasn’t meant to be anything earth shattering, just a light hearted little post about geeky things that I liked on a more personal level, and wanted to share. You may have also remembered “the rack trap.” Well! The inventor of the rack trap over at theracktrap.com (Don’t google “rack trap”…you will discover naughty things, trust me), was nice enough to send me a free rack trap! Here she is!:

Ah yes, I have attained the valentines day edition! +500XP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ….Anyways.

I’ve noticed a couple things about this product- it is TINY, very very slender so it can fit inside your bra well without make you look like one boob is stuffed and the other isn’t, AND it’s kind of silky, so it shouldn’t itch. Though I cannot speak for everyone with the itching issue, I just know I am not allergic to the material.

And now, let’s see it in action! I was excited.

The Rack Trap in action

Right, so here we have it. Now, I can’t show you anything more revealing than this, unfortunately. But this gives you a sense of how big it is and how it fits in your bra.

PROS!!!

Well, it’s kind of cute. And I am not one to just fall into cutesy girly merchandise, however it does make a good product for holding extra cash, and I can say I feel safer holding this money in my cleavage as opposed to walking around with a purse. I guess my reasoning here is that a mugger probably will not be searching your boobs for spare change.

This can also be proven fun for your boyfriend (or girlfriend), if you want to engage in a friendly game of “find the quarter.”

The inventor herself also had a good reason for this product, which is: someone would rather be given money out of a pouch, than your sweaty bra/boobs. And I agree with her. I don’t want sweaty boob money!! And I also must admit that I kind of feel like a temptress and sexy with money against my boob. That might be just me.

CONS!!!

Well, if you’re a guy, you won’t be able to use it. Sorry guys. I know you’re disappointed.

At the end of the day, when I remove my bra, it often falls out and I forget to pick it up. Last time, my dog swiped it as it fell off. Luckily I got it back, but it’s only because I noticed her with it in her maw, scampering under the sofa with it. I might think about sewing it inside my bra.

Another thing is, it’s NOT discrete when you try to remove money from your bra. I would have a hard time sitting in a restaurant, and having to fish money out of my boobs when I have to pay for my meal. So I think this product should be used wisely regarding where you are. It can look cute if you playfully remove your money from the racktrap, you know, in a sexy type way, but it might come off as tacky in a more elegant setting.

Things you cannot use the racktrap for:

Rack Trap being eaten!!?

….Doesn’t taste as nice as it looks. Don’t do it.

Mittens?

Not so much. Also, I apologize for the incredibly terrified mouse look I have in that photo.

So, it turns out the racktrap has very limited uses. So am I for or against the racktrap? The verdict iiiiiiis:

It's a winner!

Ding ding ding!

Regardless of whether it falls out of my bra when I remove it, I like this product! I didn’t think I would, but I really get a kick out of it, even if it does seem ridiculous at first glance. I feel safer carrying etc cash, my boyfriend has reason to fondle me if he needs said cash, and it makes me feel somewhat sexy. I wouldn’t use it as a nice restaurant perhaps, but otherwise, it gets my seal of approval. In fact, I am wearing it right now, and it’s stayed in place and kept my money safe!

Now that that’s over with, I can go back to my corner and feel shameful about posting yet another article targetting boobs. I hope you’re all happy!!!!

-Roses

Posted in Speak Geek, Things I find | View Comments