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Sunday, October 31st, 2010

Happy Halloween!

Well, being a single white girl from the suburbs, I couldn’t think of a better way to celebrate Halloween than drowning myself in bite sized Hershey chocolates and watching Shaun of the Dead.    I had anticipated seeing some cute costumed children approach the house, but Halloween just isn’t the same these days.  So far, I’ve gotten maybe 2 groups of kids.  One group of kids passed by the house and actually said, “No! Not that house! Let’s go to this house…”

It’s like they know I am hoarding all the chocolate to myself and cheaped out by only buying warheads to give out.  I’m sorry, but when you wait until the day OF Halloween to buy candy, there are few options.  And by few options, I mean they seriously only had Warheads.  Sorry.

Single and unpopular like Yours Truly?   Here are some things you can do on Halloween that may or may not entertain you.

  • Scare some kids. You know, I’ve always got a kick out of those people who dress up as Jason or something and stand all statue-y outside their house…then they come up at you and scare the bejeezus out of you cause you’re a wuss.  I’m not speaking from experience or anything.  I mean.  I’m not easily sca–HOLY SHIT A CENTIPEDE.
  • Watch Rocky Horror Picture Show ALL DAY LONG.  Because it’s on ALL DAY LONG.  Shaun of the Dead is also on several times today, so take your pick of stereotypical Halloween movies.
  • Dress up anyway! I am being serious, it’s always fun dressing up.  But be forewarned, if you dress up as Elton John, kids will be confused.  Actually, I think dressing up as Elton John may scare kids more than the typical werewolf costume these days.
  • Make taco spaghetti. I actually don’t have a good Halloween related reason for this, it’s just delicious.   It also provides your carb intake for the next 5 years.
  • Eat pudding. For dessert after the taco spaghetti.
  • Play a scary game. I will be the first to admit that Horror games do scare the shit out of me.  I usually have to play them with another person, because if the game is genuinely terrifying, I become paralyzed and can’t even interact with it.  I will literally pass the keyboard (or controller depending on the console) to the next person.  There is something legitimately more scary than playing a game, than watching a scary movie.  It’s also a nice adrenaline rush though, and what better time of the year to induce wetting yourself with a scary game than now?  I recommend the Trilby Series.  Simple graphics, serious mindfuck.

You could also spend your time writing a pointless blog to make the day go by.  Kind of like how I am doing here.  Now, excuse me, me and my bowl of chocolate have a date.  OOOOMNOMNOM.

Edit:  Sorry, I must add this because it’s adorable.  I just answered some trick or treaters, and one of them handed me a generic newspaper we usually leave on the porch.  Then she picked up the other ratty, decrepit papers that have been sitting there for months and handed them to me saying, “You missed a lot of mail!”

Make A Circuit With Me

Tuesday, September 7th, 2010

You may or may not have noticed that I have a pretty strong weakness [Oooo, oxymoron] for Science Fiction and Fantasy.  I grew up on whimsical games like King’s Quest, where you can find your character stuck inside an interactive fairy tales, and Space Quest where you can interact with Alien creatures with 5 noses and pilot droids.  My dream house is Crispin’s cottage from King’s Quest 5.  There is something so fantastical, so appealing about things we assume not to be possible or real.   I’m not trying to say that robots and androids are not real, because we’ve been making amazing technological advances when it comes to robotics!  Japan is working on making a robot that looks and responds like a human being (we’re so close to a robot invasion..)

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Undateable You

Monday, August 23rd, 2010

I was watching TV the other day, and for whatever reason, I wasn’t watching Kitchen Nightmares or old reruns of Whose Line is it Anyway.  There was this special on about what makes guys unsuitable candidates for dating a girl.  It was amusing for the most part, touching on things like “Guys shouldn’t wear a bandana, guys shouldn’t wear a wife beater on a first date..” etc.  You know, common sense things that NOBODY should do on a first date.Bret Michaels, doing what he does best: ....Looking somewhat girly..

Then they got to the rule of “Don’t talk about video games on a first date to your girl”, and some of the responses girls gave were just dense.  “If you talk to me about Halo, I will dump your ass”, to paraphrase.  The girls on the show made it seem stupid for girls to like video games in any sense (which we all know is outdated.  ‘Scuse me while I go shoe shopping while making a sandwich and sewing a doily).  Needless to say, I got a little huffy, which isn’t too uncommon when I feel strongly about something.  In the show’s defense, they recruited the most brain dead women to give their opinions on these so called video game rules, such as the oh-so-intelligent Snooki from Jersey Shore, who is more interested in a man on steroids than a man who plays a PS3.  Sorry Snooki- here is one of my rules for taking someone seriously: I can’t take you seriously when your skin color is similar to that of a pachyderm…by choice.

I eventually got fed up with these common rules, and decided to make some rules of my own!  Everyone has standards, right?  Well, these are my top reasons that make you…..dun dun dun….UNDATEABLE.
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Booyah! A blog post.

Thursday, August 5th, 2010

BOOSH! A wild PushingUpRoses appears!

While I was tinkering with my website appearance, I noticed that I haven’t updated it in nearly a month.  A month!  Where have I been?  What’s going on?  What time is it?  Why is there a huge scar where my kidneys are located?  Is “oozily” a real word?  All these questions answered and more, in this new blog post.

Basically, I’ve been busy.  I know I know, anti-climatic.  But first, I will share a story with you.

I was in the computer lab at school the other day, minding my own business, when I hear something from the other room.  It sounded like the most lackluster, depressive, downright disappointing “Booyah!” I have ever heard.  Have you ever tried using the term “Booyah” in the wrong context?  It sounds hilarious.  “Oh man, my car got broken into today on Canal st.  BOOOOOYAAAAAAH!”

So I very very very slowly poke my head around the wall to the next room, only to see a 60ish year old woman sitting at the computer, doing god knows what on the internet.  This woman screwed up the word “Booyah!”  How can you do that!?!?

Incorrect ways of using “Booyah”:

  • “I had a bad day.  Oh, booyah.”
  • “I left my lunch in the booyah.”
  • Hey baby, want to booyah?

Correct ways of using “Booyah”:

  • “Your MOM goes to college! BOOYAH.” (in response to “I go to college, etc”)
  • BOOYAH, GRANDMA! BOOYAH.” (in response to completely owning your grandma at the 27th game of scrabble)
  • I’m awesome! Booyah!” (because you might just be awesome)
  • Praise the Lord, booyah!” (in placement of hallelujah.  This may or may not be acceptable.)

Just so we’re clear.

Besides doing the whole school thing, I’ve been busy recording my Let’s Plays, and letting my inner geek out.  Or maybe it’s outer geek.  I think my geek shows pretty well.  If you say geek too many times, it sounds weird.  Try it.  Geekgeekgeekgeekgeekgeekgeek.  NOW IT’S LOST IT’S MEANING.

I have a lot of new projects in the works, but if any of you are interested in some snazzy collaborations I did recently, you can go to my buddy LordKat’s website, and view a lovely LP on spacequest.  You can also hear me say “Eat them out” in one instance. Erg.

I also did an article collaboration here, with the most lovely JewWario.

Oh, and if you haven’t seen this already, this is the best fan art of me I have ever seen in my life:

Is it wrong that I want to boink myself in cartoon form?  This was made by the wonderful Andrew Dickman.  Thanks for giving me a nice rack!  MAN I’m stacked.

Well…that’s all I have to say for now I suppose.  I guess it’s back to the grind. …..Booyah.

My Secret Life as a Sleuth

Friday, July 9th, 2010

I have a secret.

Well, it’s not actually a secret.  It’s more of a fantasy.  Ever since I was a little girl…I’ve always wanted to be…

(insert really really long awkward pause, and a cymbal crash)

A detective.

….What!?!? Don’t you ridicule, now!  Everyone has fantasies about being someone else, after all.  Some people want to be famous athletes, some people want to be actors and actresses, some people want to be a transvestite…it’s all good!  *I* have always wanted to be a detective.

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