Things I find

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Silly Bandz! And No, I'm Not Talking About the Monkees

Sunday, May 2nd, 2010

Well, well, well. It seems I have stumbled upon another money ploy, this one targeted quite blatantly at kids. Except that kids have no money to be spending on such products, so parents: be on the look out.

Ladies and gentlemen…behold! I bestow upon you….

SILLY BANDZ!!!!!!

I especially like that obviously photoshopped filtered picture in the second row. I can tell the photographer was going for the more gritty look.

So, I have to be honest with you guys. I have absolutely no idea what these things are used for. When I first saw the website, I figured they were maybe some kind of hair band thingies. Apparently not, even though one could probably get the most use out of using it for pony tail purposes.

Basically, these things are rubber bands. Well, not even basically. These things ARE rubber bands.

….But these not just any rubber bands, people!!! These rubber bands come in all shapes and colors! Like….orange toucans! And black baseball plates! And…this thing!!!:

I personally think it is a tap dancing dinosaur. But then quickly released how silly of a thought that was. Obviously Dinosaurs are much bigger than that.

You guys know how I am though. I am miss “give everything a chance” and never one to chose sides when it comes to a debate. So I took it upon myself, after doing extensive research on the matter, to write out some ridiculously awesome things you can do with Silly Bandz. Here goes:

Things to do with Silly Bandz:

Use them as stylin’ hair ties.
Link them together to make a long chain…thing. People still find that fun, right?
Cock ring?
When you are driving, blast some music, and make them dance out your window a little bit. People will think you are the bees knees.
Pretend they are pets you could never have in real life. I’ve always wanted a pet hippo made completely out of rubber.
Glue them to your friends bathroom floor. Then have a great laugh at them when they can’t pick them up!!!! What chumps!!!!!!

….Actually, none of these things are really good. I tried really hard you guys, I tried to find really good uses for these things, but there aren’t any!! These things are stupid, pointless, and a waste of bandwidth on the internet. Why would you ever want to buy rubber bands in the shapes of animals or people or letters or ANYTHING OTHER THAN A CIRCLE.

And what the heck is this thing supposed to be?!?! It looks like Barney the Dinosaur, only without legs and two nubs for arms.

I found this picture under the “sea creatures” category, and seriously…if there is a sea creature that looks like THIS in the ocean, then count me out from ever going swimming ever again. Look people, I’m already pretty daunted by shrimp (bugs of the sea), I don’t need Silly Bandz to nourish my aversions to strange sea critters.

I mean, come on. If you’re going to make rubber bands into specific shapes, at least make them look like the shape you want them to be. At least put this guy in the “Barney the Dinosaur” category. Might as well have one, they have a category for pretty much everything else.

Conclusion?

Silly Bandz, you disappoint me. Until you start making rubber bands in the shape of Daryl Hall, I will continue to be uninspired by your efforts to woo me with Barney the Dinosaur Sea Critters and umbrellas and…ugh…butterflies.

Posted in Things I find | 38 Responses »

The Rack Trap or Another article about boobs? Really?

Thursday, February 25th, 2010

So, you may remember a couple posts ago in an article far far away, me talking about presents for your geek girl. It wasn’t meant to be anything earth shattering, just a light hearted little post about geeky things that I liked on a more personal level, and wanted to share. You may have also remembered “the rack trap.” Well! The inventor of the rack trap over at theracktrap.com (Don’t google “rack trap”…you will discover naughty things, trust me), was nice enough to send me a free rack trap! Here she is!:

Ah yes, I have attained the valentines day edition! +500XP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ….Anyways.

I’ve noticed a couple things about this product- it is TINY, very very slender so it can fit inside your bra well without make you look like one boob is stuffed and the other isn’t, AND it’s kind of silky, so it shouldn’t itch. Though I cannot speak for everyone with the itching issue, I just know I am not allergic to the material.

And now, let’s see it in action! I was excited.

The Rack Trap in action

Right, so here we have it. Now, I can’t show you anything more revealing than this, unfortunately. But this gives you a sense of how big it is and how it fits in your bra.

PROS!!!

Well, it’s kind of cute. And I am not one to just fall into cutesy girly merchandise, however it does make a good product for holding extra cash, and I can say I feel safer holding this money in my cleavage as opposed to walking around with a purse. I guess my reasoning here is that a mugger probably will not be searching your boobs for spare change.

This can also be proven fun for your boyfriend (or girlfriend), if you want to engage in a friendly game of “find the quarter.”

The inventor herself also had a good reason for this product, which is: someone would rather be given money out of a pouch, than your sweaty bra/boobs. And I agree with her. I don’t want sweaty boob money!! And I also must admit that I kind of feel like a temptress and sexy with money against my boob. That might be just me.

CONS!!!

Well, if you’re a guy, you won’t be able to use it. Sorry guys. I know you’re disappointed.

At the end of the day, when I remove my bra, it often falls out and I forget to pick it up. Last time, my dog swiped it as it fell off. Luckily I got it back, but it’s only because I noticed her with it in her maw, scampering under the sofa with it. I might think about sewing it inside my bra.

Another thing is, it’s NOT discrete when you try to remove money from your bra. I would have a hard time sitting in a restaurant, and having to fish money out of my boobs when I have to pay for my meal. So I think this product should be used wisely regarding where you are. It can look cute if you playfully remove your money from the racktrap, you know, in a sexy type way, but it might come off as tacky in a more elegant setting.

Things you cannot use the racktrap for:

Rack Trap being eaten!!?

….Doesn’t taste as nice as it looks. Don’t do it.

Mittens?

Not so much. Also, I apologize for the incredibly terrified mouse look I have in that photo.

So, it turns out the racktrap has very limited uses. So am I for or against the racktrap? The verdict iiiiiiis:

It's a winner!

Ding ding ding!

Regardless of whether it falls out of my bra when I remove it, I like this product! I didn’t think I would, but I really get a kick out of it, even if it does seem ridiculous at first glance. I feel safer carrying etc cash, my boyfriend has reason to fondle me if he needs said cash, and it makes me feel somewhat sexy. I wouldn’t use it as a nice restaurant perhaps, but otherwise, it gets my seal of approval. In fact, I am wearing it right now, and it’s stayed in place and kept my money safe!

Now that that’s over with, I can go back to my corner and feel shameful about posting yet another article targetting boobs. I hope you’re all happy!!!!

-Roses

Posted in Speak Geek, Things I find | 19 Responses »

Presents for your Geek Girl

Sunday, February 14th, 2010

Ah, love is in the air. You want to get your adorkable gamer girl nerd sweetheart something special for Valentine’s Day. Year after year, you default to Whitman’s Assorted Chocolates and flowers. Not too bad, but it’s becoming redundant, and she claims that the coconut truffles always go to her thighs, and flowers? They die. Sad but true.

So the question remains, what would make a good gift for her beyond chocolate coconut truffles and wilty plants? Well, I have done some research, and here is what I have found: http://starsandinfinitedarkness.com! ……What? Stop looking at me like that. Yeah, I know it sounds somewhat melodramatic, but I scoured through the site, and found some awesomely charming, yet nerdy accessories that would make great gifts; not just for for Valentines Day, but any special occasion. (You guys listening? Buy me this stuff!)

So after browsing this site, I found several kinds of rings that were pretty neat, including this “Amoeba Ring” that seems to be worn in reverse. It seems to act as a brass knuckle in that respect, the two shapes rest ontop of your fingers, the the finger itself goes through the bottom loop. Neat! A gift for any science nerd? Actually, that thing kind of resembles brass knuckles, so if your girl is more aggressive than most, this might make for a pleasing gift.

I found a plethora of rings on this website, some bordering on bizarre, others genuinely unique, and some? Well- take this lil Pacman Ghost ring! It’s a pretty simple piece of jewelry, but it’s just…adorable and makes me want to squee. Want to show your gamer girl you care? Try this instead. And if it gets rejected, I would just like to say that I would gladly take it off your hands.

Aaaaand my personal favorite. Now, it took me awhile to figure this out. This is a necklace. It’s a sunglasses necklace. This IS NOT the actual size, this is actually a small charm representing the fashion from the 80s! These charms come in a variety of colors, and when I say variety, what I really mean is neon. I thought it was kind of trendy at first, but now I am sort of fond of this necklace, just like I am fond of the 80s.

Duran Duran, anyone? No? Dammit.

Now, these are just small suggestions. Whatever you decide to give to your geek girl, just make sure to put some thought into it! Don’t go all willy nilly all over the place! (whatever that means, I borrowed that statement from my mom.)

An example of a bad gift:

Ah yes, the “rack trap”. Just in case you don’t have a place to put your money, credit cards, and IDs, you can rely on this pouch you shove into your bra, where you can keep those extra necessities. It’s simple! Put your money in there, then stuff it into your bra. BAM. Extra storage, hands free, and insta wonder bra.

Do not be fooled by the Rack Trap’s clever advertising. This gift should not be bought for anyone. Ever. It is a scam and I have proved it by putting money, including loose change, directly into my bra sans rack trap, and it didn’t budge. Therefore, this is a gift FAILURE and I don’t recommend it.

Alright, getting back on track, gifts aren’t all that important. If you don’t have the funds to indulge in these kinds of gifts, the simple act of spending time with your significant other should be enough. And if that doesn’t work: Oral sex. Can’t fail.

Happy Valentines Day!

Posted in Gamer Girl Gone Wild, Things I find | 14 Responses »

Pink: it's like red, but not quite.

Wednesday, February 10th, 2010

Time to talk about gaming related stuff! Let’s dive in, my geek posse!
Today we’re going to talk about…wait…what is this I have here? Aha! A new discovery! Gentlemen, behold…I give you….:

Wait a second, what the hell is this thing? A make up compact? The box kind of resembles my box of tampons.

Jill Stuart?! Who’s Jill Stuart?!

It turns out Jill Stuart is a designer of sorts, who apparently tired of designing clothing and accessories and moved onto gaming consoles. This box contains the limited, pink blossom colored PSP package, for girls who are snobby fashionable idiots tired of those dreary, black and gray colored consoles. Because we all know that your popularity and enjoyment of said console depends on the color! And pink is fun!

Let’s take a look at the contents:

This “sweet” package comes with a PSP in a very light pink hue, labeled “Blossom Pink”, a 4 GB Memory Stick Pro Duo stick, a “designer” carrying case with Jill Stuart’s name on it (just in case people forget) aaaaand a doily.

Oh. Sorry. *dusting cloth.

Which you will probably need, because it’s going to collect a lot of dust sitting in your top drawer; something tells me that no woman in her right mind would take this out in public.

Now, I might be sound a bit harsh, because I understand that if we can have a PSP in a blue color, why not a pink color? The problem is, the blue colors aren’t blatantly directed at one specific gender. You don’t see a blue PSP come with a sports bag and a bottle of Gatorade, do you? This PSP is aimed at females, to try and appease their..gaming needs, I guess. This is the wrong way to attract females to gaming. I became interested in gaming and consoles by playing them and getting enjoyment from that, not from how visually appealing the console was. I understand having a console in a cool color, but this is kind of ridiculous, and caters to that “rich girl” stereotype, with the designer name and handbag. Why not just HAVE a pink PSP? Why does there need to be all this extra garbage, like the doily. Is this console intended to be played, or intended to be flashed around like a diamond necklace?

Maybe I am old school, or maybe I just don’t like the idea of trying to attract my fellow gender into gaming by tricking them with aesthetics. I think a console is a console, and shouldn’t be bogged down with ridiculous designer accessories. Not only that, but it’s my suspicion that the “hardcore” gamer girls don’t care about what their console looks like, but how well it works.

The Jill Stuart PSP Limited Sweet Package will become available in March, in Japan, starting at $230. This is a limited edition, so stock up, if you are auditioning for a runway model, that is.

Posted in Gamer Girl Gone Wild, Things I find | 18 Responses »