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Dear Dad,

Happy Father’s Day!  Kind of late in the day, but I didn’t forget.  I just moved out of our old house into a new apartment today.  You know that 50 pound mattress I had in my room?  Totally just lugged it up 3 flights of stairs.

Mom is doing okay.  She bugs me on a constant basis, so everything is normal in that respect.  Some interesting things have happened over the course of the year.  I actually started making videos.  ….Don’t look at me like that.  I know it seems odd, having been incredibly camera shy as long as I could remember, but it’s been interesting.  Finally coming out of my shell a bit, like you have always wanted me to.  There is a guy I let into my life (I know, I know; you’re probably smirking and trying to think of something to say to humiliate me).  He is a good guy, you can trust him.  I feel good about him.  He makes me feel war—-WHAT!?!?!  Okay, sorry.  Going into gross territory, there.  Just know that I feel as loved as you made me feel when you were here.

Things had gotten complicated for awhile.  You probably already knew that though.  I think I lost focus for a time, and anything that remotely resembled happiness, I pushed away.  I know that’s not what you wanted for me, and if I could take some things back and correct them, I would.   But I can’t do that now.  I can only push on and hope that somewhere, you can see my progress, and you are still proud, no matter how badly I fuck up.   And trust me, I can fuck up pretty badly sometimes.  I have good people in my life though.  I think I still carry around this general distrust for people, which I probably picked up from you.  It’s not realism Dad, it’s PESSIMISM.   Argue it all you want, but you know I’m right.   But I have surrounded myself with good people who you may or may not approve of.  Also, stop forcing Neil Diamond onto my car radio.  I can only listen to “Solitary Man” so many times, here.

I miss you.  See you in dreamland.

<3 Sarah

Hey everyone, I just wanted to drop you guys a quick line to explain what’s been happening in my life lately.  So, for all 10 of you that read this website:

My projects may gradually slow down.  I’ve been under quite a lot of stress, and as far as my internet projects go, they take far less of a priority than school, and my real life job.  I simply love to try to convince myself that I am some kind of super woman, and I can handle everything.  Unfortunately, being human is not working in my favor, and I am finding myself frazzled.  While I really love making videos, I need to shift most of the weight to my offline life for a little while.  There have been some rough changes in my life, the possibility of losing my house (it sucks), failing one of my classes (sucks more) and in general, just not having enough time to produce videos and content that I am truly proud of (seriously sucks).

I will definitely try my best to keep at it, and get something out there every now and then.  Making video content was always supposed to be something fun for me, and it is…I just need to find that time again so it CAN be fun.  Until then, there might be a possibility that I will update this website more!

….

Hah.  Yeah right.

Well, well, well.  So it seems to be that time of the year again.  No, not tax season…even though I really should start working on my taxes.   Have I ever mentioned my Birthday is on Tax Day?  It is.  Have I ever mentioned how badly I would like a robot for my birthday?  I do.

….Anyway.  January 21st/22nd is the date my Father passed away from cancer eleven years ago.  Every year I usually do something in tribute to him.  As I mentioned in a previous blog, I once donated my hair (and got a mohawk Doo-hickey.  I looked like LaRoux.), however, due to the insane awkward hair stages I had to go through after that, I decided I won’t be donating my hair anymore.  So for the past 3 years, I’ve been writing blogs on this date.  Which works out well for me, because you have no idea the cost I spent in hair gel some years ago.

I miss my Dad almost everyday.  It is not very frequent that I become sad over this; mostly I remember the good times and look back rather fondly.  I wanted to do something he might be proud of me for, so I got some people together (Todd and Paw) and reviewed the Monkees movie, Head.  Most people will not be aware that I chose this review as sort of a tribute, but it is, and that is why I wanted to review it.   The Monkees was actually something my Dad and I shared.  I remember watching the sitcom with him as a little girl, and him laughing hysterically at the zanyness.  ….Actually, half the time he seemed to be laughing at absolutely nothing.  Just…sort of sitting there.  Chortling.  I question this.

Even though the review seemed to be more cynical in nature, I know my Dad would love the review.  He was fairly cynical in nature (though he insisted he was “realistic”).  So, this review is for you, Dad.   I know it came off as me ribbing on the movie a bit, but if I didn’t like the movie, I wouldn’t rib on it.  I make fun of things I like.  Which is why I can’t seem to get a date these days.

I never know exactly how to feel on this date.  Part of me thinks I should grieve.  However, grieving is absolutely no fun at all.  Another part of me thinks I should celebrate his memories, but then I’d feel guilty for feeling happy on a sad day and BLAH BLAH BLAH.  You know what I mean.

I usually get somewhat wound up.  But, I feel content.  I often wonder what my Dad would think about my youtube videos, or my placement on TGWTG.  I want to say he’d be my biggest fan, but I am not sure anyone can top Paw.  Heh, what a stalker.

Wherever you are, Dad, enjoy this review.  I miss ya.

Love,

Sarah

You know, while I’m here and actually paying attention to my website, I thought I’d give you guys some updates!

First of all, Happy Holidays.  Eat until you ‘splode.

First things first.  My plans are set for Magfest.  WOO.

Now for the bad news.  I may have to put the Shorty LPs (The ones on TGWTG) on hold for just a little while.  Not forever! (I promise) but just until I can get my solo stuff up and settled.  I love doing those shorts, trust me.  But for now, I need to focus on my other videos.  Just for a little while.

For YouTube, I believe Paw and I will be starting the QFG2 LP soon.  We wanted to wait until Callahan’s was completely over, and it will be wrapping up within the next week.

Um.  What else.

Yeah…I guess that’s it…

So…um.

Cranberry sauce!  The hell is up with that?