The robots I like are a bit more fictitious, but I love them all the same.  I’ve always loved robots and ‘droids, so here’s a list of my personal favorites.

TOP TEN LISTS, ALL THE TIME TOP TEN LISTS.

**HONORABLE MENTION** Burton (The Spoony Experiment)

Burton is the robot from Internet Famous Reviewer and personality, Noah Antwiler.   He is clearly an homage to the robots from Mystery Science Theater 3000, and it definitely does justice.  Burton is amazing for a home made robot, able to move his head and open his mouth.  Not only functional, but Burton is one of the more aesthetically pleasing machines.  Nice blue color, attractive dust buster for a head, and red hands.  RED.

10. Bender (Futurama)

Typically, I don’t like beer guzzling, foul mouthed, chauvinistic pigs.  But when these kind of personalities are fused with a robot, the combination is pure win.  Snarky, obscene, and strikes an uncanny resemblance to Homer Simpson.  Bender is one of the most distinguishable characters within the adult cartoon circuit.  Regardless of how filthy and cunning he is, I do like this character.  There’s something awesome about a completely brash robot, since most of the robots on my list have a friendly nature.

9. The Iron Giant

I don’t know much about the novel, but I love the depiction in the Iron Giant animated feature film.  Talk about a 180, going from the crude personality of Bender to the gentle personality of this character.   I can’t imagine a better “pet” than a huge metal man.  I am very jealous of Hogarth.  The movie itself has a very touching ending, that I won’t give away of course, but I will say The Iron Giant is one of the best robotic heros ever conceived.

8. Rosie (The Jetsons)

If you grew up on the cartoon network like I did in the early 90s, then you must be familiar with Rosie.  We share a nickname!  The Jetsons was one of my absolute favorite cartoons growing up.  I felt they were always in battle with The Flintstones, even though they probably were not due to the times they were created, but regardless, I was on The Jetsons side.  Rosie was a staple in my childhood, and the Jetsons was one of the first shows I experienced with a prominent robot character, so I look at her fondly.

7. ROB (Nintendo)

You may be asking me “Why??”  BECAUSE HE IS CUTE.  LOOK AT HIM.

6. The Terminator

The Terminator is interesting due to the fact he played a bad guy, but also a good guy.  Not too mention, it’s fuckin’ AHNOLD.  How can you not like the Govenator?  Judgement Day was one of the movies that changed my tastes on films, and I went from watching really kiddy stuff to more dramatic, impressive films like the Terminator series.  We don’t *typically* think about robots as huge muscular men with Austrian accents, so this is a bit different from your fantasy robot.  I like it.

5. R2D2 (Star Wars)

Most possibly one of the cutest robots of all time, R2D2 proves himself to be a smartass without even using English words.  As a child, I *loved* watching R2D2 argue (and win) with his mechanical partner, C3P0.  He looks sort of like a cross between a trash can, and segway.  And hey, there ain’t nothin’ wrong with that.

4. Number 5 (Short Circuit)

Short Circuit.  What can I say?  It’s a fun, cheesy flick with Steve Gutenberg about a potentially dangerous robot gone good.  He can be annoying to some, but I think his voice is rather cute, and with all that input, he may just be the smartest robot out there.  Self learning, charming, and clearly a capable dancer, I would date this machine.

3. Robo (Chrono Trigger)

Playing through Chrono Trigger is one of the most amazing game experiences I’ve ever had, and I always made sure that Robo was in my team as much as possible.  His story is compelling, and I enjoyed his side quests more than the other side quests.  I know I am not alone in wanting Lucca and Robo to hook up…right?  …..Right??

2. WD40 (Space Quest)

Maybe an more obscure choice, but Space Quest 5 is one of my favorite games of all time.  Wd40 is the female equivalent of The Terminator.  She starts out as evil and wanting to rip out your voice box, but joins your side after…well, blowing her up.  Easy to persuade…?  WD40 is also hot, IN robot form.  Pretty hard to make circuits and panels of metal sexy.

1. Andy (Bicentennial Man)

I know I will get slammed for this, but my number one choice for my top ten robots is Andy, from the movie Bicentennial Man.  This movie is so sincere, and really brings to life my true fantasy- a robot that has human emotions.  Andy starts out a robot who realizes he is different, in that he has feelings.  In order to experience life to the fullest, he undergoes an amazing transformation in which he becomes a human through means of artificial organs, and skin.  It really hits a chord with me, even in its cheesiness, and I find myself yearning for a coin-operated boy of my own.  The movie and character does a really nice job of merging fantasy with reality, and let’s face it:  We all need a little fantasy in our reality.  If you haven’t seen it, I recommend it.

And there we have it!  My list of the top robots of all time.  Everything is my own personal opinion of course, and so as not to get slammed by the hardcore Transformers fans, I would like to give a nod to Optimus Prime.   Even though I don’t see any robots in transformers.  Just trucks.  …..>;)

Because of this lack of newly brilliant ideas, I decided…what can I do to stimulate my readers?  Within reason that is.  Well, why not write an entire blog entry devoted to myself!   I find myself getting a lot of interesting [and creepy] questions about me and my personal life, so I decided to set some time aside to answer some of these questions by posting some inconsequential information about yours truly.  So, here’s a list, since I like them so much:

• My name is Sarah, not Rose- Not sure why but people seem to get my user name all jumbled.
• I love, love, LOVE The Monkees.  I am obsessed with all the episodes, all the music, and the guys in the band.
• I am very fond of having birds as pets.  I think they make the best companions ever.
• I hate watermelon flavored anything.  Disgusting.
• I am a HARDCORE adventure gamer.  I love Sierra, LucasArts, and every single adventure game I’ve found on Abandonia or GOG.com.  I am pretty well rounded when it comes to gaming, but my first gaming love is the PC adventure game.  I love them so much.  SO much.
• I collect Disney animated features.  I have a vast collection ranging from Snow White to Mulan, where I stopped collecting.  Need to borrow a Disney animated feature?  I probably have it.
• I could probably live on Chile_Relleno Burritos.
• Before my Dad died, I could barely draw a stick figure.  After he passed on, I found myself able to draw.  Weird.
• I love going to Taco Bell at 2am for no reason.  ….Sometimes the reason is a cheesy gordita crunch, though.
• I collect clocks.  They are amazing!
• I could eat sushi every day, and never tire of it.
• Yes, the bird tattoos hurt.  I didn’t bawl, but I did feel the sensation of pain.  It’s pretty uncommon that people don’t feel that sensation- whether it hurts or not is up to them, but mine DID hurt.
• I used to have a a very poor self image of myself, so to build my confidence and mask what I thought I looked like, I would dye my hair whacky colors.
• I love my computer. My computer will love me unconditiona–…..WTF A VIRUS!?!

And here are some frequently asked questions which I never answer, but decided to answer.

What does your name mean?

It’s an homage to Grim Fandango, a LucasArts adventure game made in the late 90s.

Will you date me?

Probably not.

What is your favorite adventure game, like, ever?

My faaaaaavorite adventure game ever is Kings Quest 3, but my favorite series of adventure games is Space Quest.

What is your favorite side scroller?

Aladdin, specifically for the Sega Genesis.  Aladdin for the SNES sucks.

What did you want to be when you were young?

An eggplant.

Phew!   And there you have it folks, more useless information than you can get your hands on!  I hope you enjoyed these fun little facts.  Maybe now you will have a better idea of who PushingUpRoses is.  Or maybe not.  Either way, I love eggplant.

Then they got to the rule of “Don’t talk about video games on a first date to your girl”, and some of the responses girls gave were just dense.  “If you talk to me about Halo, I will dump your ass”, to paraphrase.  The girls on the show made it seem stupid for girls to like video games in any sense (which we all know is outdated.  ‘Scuse me while I go shoe shopping while making a sandwich and sewing a doily).  Needless to say, I got a little huffy, which isn’t too uncommon when I feel strongly about something.  In the show’s defense, they recruited the most brain dead women to give their opinions on these so called video game rules, such as the oh-so-intelligent Snooki from Jersey Shore, who is more interested in a man on steroids than a man who plays a PS3.  Sorry Snooki- here is one of my rules for taking someone seriously: I can’t take you seriously when your skin color is similar to that of a pachyderm…by choice.

I eventually got fed up with these common rules, and decided to make some rules of my own!  Everyone has standards, right?  Well, these are my top reasons that make you…..dun dun dun….UNDATEABLE.

#10 – You Smell Like Toxic Waste

I am somewhat sensitive to smell, so if you smell similar to a dump truck, I cannot date you. HOWEVER. If you smell like a toaster strudel, you may have a hard time prying me off of your being. Mmmm.

#9 – You kick puppies

Well, unless you are kicking my Mom’s annoying chihuahua dog, don’t even think about kicking a puppy!

#8 – You have no tolerance for Hall and Oates

We could probably make perfect enemies.

#7 – You are an eggplant

Eggplants don’t really have any nutritional value, you know. Alton Brown said so.

#6 – You wear Zubazs

Actually…this may get you a date. It depends on if you are wearing the zebra print ones or not.

#5 – You insist on wearing a sombrero

#4 – You refuse to watch Wee Sing tapes with me

Sometimes I like to go back to my childhood. Don’t judge! WEE SING RULES. IT MAKES ME COOL.

#3 – You plan to steal Weird Al from me

What? What do you mean Weird Al is married?…

#2- You *don’t* want to play video games with me

Very seriously, I can’t date anyone who doesn’t and isn’t willing to play video games with me. Games, especially of the computer variety, are a huge part of my past and present, so be ready to spend time with me at the PC.

#1 – You take this list seriously

I very rarely take myself seriously, and you shouldn’t either. However, I still won’t date you if you smell like toxic waste, so don’t even ask!

And there you have it, my top ten list on what makes you….dun dun dun….UNDATEABLE. Seriously, the reasons I just listed are no more ridiculous than the ones I saw on the show. While it’s good to have standards while dating, I don’t think it’s good to nitpick over things like bananas and chain wallets, etc.

….but seriously, don’t wear a sombrero.

While I was tinkering with my website appearance, I noticed that I haven’t updated it in nearly a month.  A month!  Where have I been?  What’s going on?  What time is it?  Why is there a huge scar where my kidneys are located?  Is “oozily” a real word?  All these questions answered and more, in this new blog post.

Basically, I’ve been busy.  I know I know, anti-climatic.  But first, I will share a story with you.

I was in the computer lab at school the other day, minding my own business, when I hear something from the other room.  It sounded like the most lackluster, depressive, downright disappointing “Booyah!” I have ever heard.  Have you ever tried using the term “Booyah” in the wrong context?  It sounds hilarious.  “Oh man, my car got broken into today on Canal st.  BOOOOOYAAAAAAH!”

So I very very very slowly poke my head around the wall to the next room, only to see a 60ish year old woman sitting at the computer, doing god knows what on the internet.  This woman screwed up the word “Booyah!”  How can you do that!?!?

Incorrect ways of using “Booyah”:

• “I had a bad day.  Oh, booyah.”
• “I left my lunch in the booyah.”
• “YOU SUCK. BOOYAH.”
• Hey baby, want to booyah?

Correct ways of using “Booyah”:

• “Your MOM goes to college! BOOYAH.” (in response to “I go to college, etc”)
• BOOYAH, GRANDMA! BOOYAH.” (in response to completely owning your grandma at the 27th game of scrabble)
• I’m awesome! Booyah!” (because you might just be awesome)
• Praise the Lord, booyah!” (in placement of hallelujah.  This may or may not be acceptable.)

Just so we’re clear.

Besides doing the whole school thing, I’ve been busy recording my Let’s Plays, and letting my inner geek out.  Or maybe it’s outer geek.  I think my geek shows pretty well.  If you say geek too many times, it sounds weird.  Try it.  Geekgeekgeekgeekgeekgeekgeek.  NOW IT’S LOST IT’S MEANING.

I have a lot of new projects in the works, but if any of you are interested in some snazzy collaborations I did recently, you can go to my buddy LordKat’s website, and view a lovely LP on spacequest.  You can also hear me say “Eat them out” in one instance. Erg.

I also did an article collaboration here, with the most lovely JewWario.

Oh, and if you haven’t seen this already, this is the best fan art of me I have ever seen in my life:

Is it wrong that I want to boink myself in cartoon form?  This was made by the wonderful Andrew Dickman.  Thanks for giving me a nice rack!  MAN I’m stacked.

Well…that’s all I have to say for now I suppose.  I guess it’s back to the grind. …..Booyah.

Well, it’s not actually a secret.  It’s more of a fantasy.  Ever since I was a little girl…I’ve always wanted to be…

(insert really really long awkward pause, and a cymbal crash)

A detective.

….What!?!? Don’t you ridicule, now!  Everyone has fantasies about being someone else, after all.  Some people want to be famous athletes, some people want to be actors and actresses, some people want to be a transvestite…it’s all good!  *I* have always wanted to be a detective.

I can’t really offer a great explanation as to why, except I think being obsessed with Law and Order as a tyke had some effect on me.  I used do, and still do actually, adore that show.  Even though the original seemed to spawn a million carbon copies of itself, like “Criminal Intent” and “Special Victims Unit”, I will always be a fan girl of the original series.

I even started writing my own mystery short stories as a preteen:   The Adventures of Mrs. Maple.  Which is clearly in no way, shape or form, a complete rip-off of Miss Marple by famed mystery writer, Agatha Christie.  Obviously.

How I fantasized about being a great detective, always going on adventures with my sidekick (gotta have a sidekick) and my neat detective hat and fashionable trench coat.    I would be the most famous detective, traveling around the world, working for Scotland Yard, and eating bagels.  Cops eat donuts.  Detectives eat bagels.  I would even have my very own detective lamp!:

I am very certain Eddie, the main character in “Who Framed Roger Rabbit”, had this exact lamp on his desk.  I will always equate lamps of this style to crime fighting.  Thus, I must have one.  I am currently accepting lamp donations.  Please see my contact page.

Alas, my career in crime was not going anywhere, so I needed to find other ways of stimulating my affection for mystery.   I was about to abandon hope, until I found this:

Eagle Eye Mysteries for the PC!!!

There seemed to be a certain time when mystery games for the PC became really popular.  Eagle Eye Mysteries, published by EA Kids, was an educational game that allowed the player to be an amateur detective, solving simple (and possibly harmless) crimes.  The simulation was amazing to me, being only nine or ten at the time I played.  The game kept me occupied for years and really fulfilled my lust for mystery games.  As I got older though, these child games no longer suited me.

When I hit my awkward teenage years, I found other, more mature games to satisfy my hunger.  I started playing Laura Bow 2: The Dagger of Amon Ra.

Now, hear me when I tell you how deceptive this game actually is.  The graphics are very cartoony, friendly, and fun.  During the first part of the game, I was having a ball picking up clues, talking to people, and progressing in the game.  And then…

BAM.

YOU FIND A FUCKING CORPSE IN A MUMMY’S COFFIN IN THE NEXT ACT.

I was so freaked out, especially after playing through the very very sugary sweet first act.  Maybe I was not ready to be a super sleuth after all.  Not only could I not eat anything red for months after this game, but my love for mystery in general dwindled for MONTHS!

I did end up going back to the game a couple years later, and got through it.  Barely.  This game pretty much proved to me that I would make the least successful detective on the planet.  At the end of the game, there is this test you have to take to see how well you payed attention.  Not only did I get every question wrong, but my character got murdered at the end because I let the killer get away!  RATS.

Okay, so I admit it.  I’m the worst detective ever.  But it doesn’t detract my love for a great mystery, and sometimes I still fantasize about being a gumshoe.  Even if it means I have to go play some Carmen Sandiego to feed my need for crime solving.  At twenty five years old, I wonder if it is too late to hone my sleuthing skills.  I am pretty sure if I just had that detective lamp, I would be the best there is.

Or I would get killed for letting a vicious serial killer away.

Maybe some day.