They Paved Paradise

Written by PushingUpRoses on April 29th, 2011

You know, for the most part, this website has been used to promote my incredibly banal and daffy thoughts and ideas.   Every now and then I’ll throw up a “deep” blog, just to get my frustrations out, but for the most part, it’s been mindless prattle.  Today, I think I’ll go the “profound” route.  I can’t guarantee this won’t turn out cheesy.  But we all like cheese.  S’all gouda. PUN.

I usually hate cliche sayings.  They usually irritate me.  But some cliche sayings happen to be true in every sense of the word.  “You don’t know what you have until it’s gone” (Not to be confused with “You don’t know what you got till it’s gone”, which is a very well known Joni Mitchell tune and has nothing to do with anything I am saying, I am just babbling), has struck me lately.

Specifically when I think about people I’ve lost through death.  Especially in the instance of my father, who I lost to cancer when I was 14.  That was a strange age for me.  Like most 14 year olds, I was awkward, greasy, and unsure of my place in society.  I was also a pain in the ass who instigated fights and got kicked out of public school, but that’s a different story altogether.

Me and my Dad were always close, but our relationship really blossomed far after he was diagnosed with cancer, and I feel like before that, I may have taken advantage.  Nobody ever thinks they will lose someone, and no one ever thinks someone bad will happen to them.  The common idea people have is “That’s something that happens to someone *else*…not *me*.  Life is unpredictable like that.

It’s way too short.  So I am going to eat this entire stuffed pizza and not care, because dammit, I like pizza, and I deserve a treat.   If you want something, take it.  If you like someone, take THEM. (…..Not sure what I actually mean by that.  It’s probably sexual.)

It’s so easy to take things for granted these days, and I know I have in the past.  We all have.  The past month has taught me a lot.  Particularly to not waste my time on petty things that will just cause undue stress.  Time to focus on what really matters.  PIZZA!

I mean…uh.  Friendships and people

.....and food.

I take a lot of business classes for my college major.  One of the most important things I’ve learned came from my presentations class.  A rule of thumb is to focus on the cheerleaders (the people who are interested) during your presentation, and ignore the ill attentive.  Spend your energy catering to the group of people who are interested in what you have to say, and keep them interested.  Don’t spend all your energy on one or two people you will never be able to impress.  Focus on the essential.

……And buy some pizza.

You’re probably hungry!

  • Jim

    I’ve lost a lot in the last couple of year. Nothing as serious as loosing a parent but stuff like freedom, friends, relationships, ect… and I’m just now (in the last 8 months or so) starting getting my shit together. And a lot of that has to do with what you said in your last paragraph, figuring out what and who matters. And pizza.

    I dig your blog, keep up the good work!


  • sunnyheadcase

    Friendships and pizza, a match made in heaven :)

  • Sara Sluis

    I've lost a lot of people to death as well, and you know one was to cancer as well. I was much younger but there's apart of me that doesn't know what went on during that horrible time in my life. I want to know but I cant force it. I think that if I was meant to remember it would, but if I've blocked it out it's blocked for a reason.
    I've also lost friends recently, it makes me very sad and confused but I'm not going to dwell on them anymore. What you said is all very true, we cant devote all our energy to getting them to look at us.
    Sadly it's the opposite for me I'm always waiting for those “Bad Things” to happen to me because of all the crap in my past, but even though this thought creeps in now and then I'm trying to focus on living in the here and now, as it were. I know whatever happens I can get through it as well.

  • Christinaarcher14

    Actually the Joni Mitchell tune your talking about is named Big Yellow Taxi which I am sure you already know but others who read this may not. Love Joni Mitchell by the way! (Poison also did a song about not knowing what you've got till its gone)

    Sarah, my heart always goes out to you when you talk about your dad. I have no idea how you feel since the only people I ever lost to death were my grandparents. Sad, but expected. But my Dad is now 61 and my mom is 59 so I am very lucky in that aspect.

    I have had a lot of bad and hard things in my life. I didn't have the easiest childhood, I joined the military and lived in Germany at 18, later I was in an abusive relationship, which resulted in my leaving him and being a single mom with no financial help,etc… but one thing I am grateful for is I never had a tragedy like death happen to someone very close to me. I know this so I always count all my blessings for my whole family all the time.

    So once again Sarah, so sorry about your dad and i hope everythings going good with your mom. Enjoy that pizza!

  • Christinaarcher14

    Opps! I feel really silly now. Poison is not the ones who sing that song. It's Cinderella! I knew when I said that ,that it sounded wrong and I kept thinking about it and then I just sat down to read Victoria a story and it hit me! Cinderella did that song. So sorry!

  • Altoman5

    I've lost a few relatives during the past few years and that my parents are getting older, I have to remind myself to take a step back and remind myself to spend as much time with my family and friends as possible. With work and other worries, it's easy to get overwhelmed by them.

    I'm sorry that you lost your dad and I hope you mom is okay and I'm glad that you try not to take things for granted and take the time and smell the roses (sorry for the pun).

  • LotusPrince

    Damn, I should have taken more business classes. I would have learned much earlier on to eat pizza!

    Seriously, though, I'm always impressed by your ability to put such serious topics into type. I never get up the nerve to get that personal, so kudos to you for your ability to do so. I too often have the “it'll never happen to me” attitude, and it's always a blow when whatever the “it” was does end up happening to me. It doesn't happen too terribly often, but it hurts every time.

    As others have said, you once again have my condolences for your dad, and I hope that your mom is doing okay.

    Also, enjoy that pizza!